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My husband learned pretty early on in our marriage that telling me to "relax" when I was feeling stressed was not in his best interest. My response is always more favorable when he offers to help or even just listen. This came to mind when I read an article by behavior specialist, Jessica Minahan, on teaching children self-calming skills. As teachers, parents and therapists, we often tell children to relax or calm down, but many children don't know how and behavior can escalate.
