e-commerce & social media

Above: some young people in a car, yesterday.

No wonder we're the most narcissistic, self-entitled generation ever: people just won't stop talking about #millennials.

Here's the latest new heap of s*** that pokes and prods at the hapless, buried-in-sane #GenY #millennials who are so diverse, yet so easy to speak for—a new study from perpetually hip MTV, now the Voice Of Two Generations, saying that #millennials love driving and cars and "see car ownership as a way to craft their unique adult identity," which was an actual sentence spoken by an actual sentient human being with actual free will who makes more actual money than any #millennial ever will.

"The study said 82 percent of #millennials find buying or leasing a new car 'exciting,'" in the same way they find paying for coffee with a Vine of a Macklemore concert exciting. It goes on. "The study found 87 percent of #millennials said they enjoyed customizing things to make them unique.

The study found 72 percent would rather give up texting for a week than surrender their cars. The study found 72 percent of #millennials enjoy the smell of their own farts. The study found 102 percent of #millennials think Edward Snowden is a slang word for a new type of ecstasy. The study found 369 percent of #millennials would rather give up the use of their testicles than give up the chance to use #hashtags to search for #CocaColaLife coupons on #Ello."...

Via Jeff Domansky