For a large part of my life I’ve thought about having kids the same way I thought about getting married: I understood it as something that people do but it was not something I could picture for myself. I’d try to imagine the big white dress, my Catholic church, a hazy groom and I’d feel no draw to it. I’d try to imagine myself christening a new child and could never fit the pieces together in a way that matched my own family. It created in m