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How many times a day do you find yourself negotiating a business matter, however, big or small? Wherever you are on your journey through the world of business, bargaining, selling and co-operation probably form the very fabric of your day. As a leader trying to remain benevolent while advancing the needs of your organisation, or an up-and-comer determined to succeed the right way, learning to give and take may be the most valuable lesson you’ll receive. But so natural does it feel, this aspect of business, that it is easy to fall into the trap of believing the skill of negotiation is innate. In fact, negotiation is a composite of techniques that need to be learned, developed, and re-tuned at every stage of your career.

Sometimes, despite your best efforts, a negotiation doesn’t go your way. Perhaps a customer pushed for a steeper discount than you wanted to give, or a potential client went with a competitor’s approach to a project. In the face of a disappointment — one where you might appear to be the “loser” — how do you save face? How do you make sure your reputation isn’t damaged and the relationship with your counterpart is intact?

What the Experts Say
Don’t worry too much about your negotiating prowess just because you lost this round. “A reputation comes from consistent behavior,” says Jeff Weiss, founding partner at Vantage Partners, a Boston-based consultancy specializing in corporate negotiations, and author of the HBR Guide to Negotiating. If you learn from the experience, there’s value to be had. A good way to start is by abandoning the adversarial mindset. “If all you’re thinking about is saving face, you’ve already made the negotiation and its aftermath into a battle,” says Margaret Neale, the Adams Distinguished Professor of Management at Stanford Graduate School of Business and coauthor of Getting (More of) What You Want. Think instead in terms of solutions so that your approach “becomes about problem solving rather than someone trying to win.” That’s where real win-win scenarios begin to emerge. Here’s how to bounce back when a negotiation doesn’t go your way.