Thinking about Systems

Whenever I talk about my work with someone, they eventually ask me for tips on how to deal with a difficult person. Often the difficulty arises when they, or the other, lose their temper. I find this to be a very common and important question both in the workplace and in our homes.

A common reaction is to deal with anger by attacking the other or defending our position from them. This is an automatic response when we feel threatened. What if we could experience the anger of others without feeling a threat? I believe that, although it is a very difficult task, it is indeed possible. There are three things I’ve encouraged my clients (and myself) to try when faced with such difficulties; they are grounded in the Eoyang CDE model. First, set patterns of safety for yourself (the container). Second, focus on what matters most to you (the differences). Third, be curious and learn something from each encounter (the exchange).

Having substantial wealth certainly makes your finances more complicated, but it can also magnify already complex family relationships and dynamics.

One strategy Enterprising Families use to help them navigate decisions concerning the knowledge, use, management, investment and stewardship of their assets — and the impact of their wealth on their family — is “systems thinking.”