Tidbits, titbits or tipbits?

Mistake #1: We fall into a combat mentality.

When difficult conversations turn toxic, it's often because we've made a key mistake: we've fallen into a combat mentality. This allows the conversation to become a zero-sum game, with a winner and a loser. But the reality is, when we let conversations take on this tenor – especially at the office – everyone looks bad, and everyone loses. The real enemy is not your conversational counterpart, but the combat mentality itself. And you can defeat it, with strategy and skill.

Mistake #2: We try to oversimplify the problem.
If the subject of your argument were straightforward, chances are you wouldn't be arguing about it. Because it's daunting to try and tackle several issues at once, we may try to roll these problems up into a less-complex Über-Problem. But the existence of such a beast is often an illusion. To avoid oversimplifying, remind yourself that if the issue weren't complicated, it probably wouldn't be so hard to talk about.

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Now, creating a new habit isn’t always easy. You often start out all enthusiastic and excited. But since you usually have to keep doing it every day for about 30 days or once a week for a whole lot of weeks to make the habit into something that sticks and feels natural it becomes harder after a while.

Life may interfere. Perhaps you get overwhelmed at work or at home. Maybe you go away for a vacation or a conference somewhere. Or maybe – because change is scary and could be harmful – your mind starts to create thoughts that that try to persuade you to quit this new and possibly positive change.

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